November 04, 2004

Drunk people say the funniest things!

(This is going to be a semi long entry...but its funny as fuck...)
Today was good....well..... for the most part....
I Just got home from Heath's new apartment in G-town. its pretty nice.

Me and mel were getting ready to go downtown until Heath called me and told me he just moved into his new apartment. and wants us to check it out...so....
we went to go hang out over there, since nothing really interesting happens at clubs till about eleven....hee hee...

so we got directions from heath...yea....bad idea...1)he was drunk 2)guys dont give good directions and 3)hes heath....although it took us a while to find the place, we eventually got there...

I SWEAR! Sometimes i cant believe the things i do!
So we're there and we realize fuck we never got his apartment number....dumb mistake number one...BUT...he did say his truck is in front of the apartment...

okay...so we find the truck, get out, and we have six apartments to choose from..GREAT!

So... we started the process of elimination... so we managed to cross out five of the six by peeping into the windows.....HA HA...im surprised no one called the cops on us for being peeping toms...okay that leaves us with one left, AND...of course i have to knock...so i do..and some mexican dude answers the door with his wife and kid....yea...melanie just starts to chuckle while i explain to the man we must have the wrong apartment....

so finally we decide to get back into the car go to the gas station and call the fucker....so as we are pulling out of the parking spot i take a second look at the truck......IT HAD A FUCKING GEORGIA STATE LICENSE PLATE......GODDAMMIT....IM DUMB!.... dumb mistake number two...ha ha....so we look again...and we find the correct one with his apartment....FINALLY!!!!

So yeah, hes drunk off his ass...and his phone rings...its josh....josh as in my ex boyfriend josh, his best friend josh.....yea fucker decided not to tell me that he "accidentally" invited him over....WHAT THE FUCK?!?....thank goodness he said he wouldnt be able to make it tonight....cuz i didnt need to deal with his shit.....

Okay so one thing you gotta know about Heath is he is a redneck...racist...well like i said he was drunk...so everytime he saw someone walk by his apartment he ran out on his porch asking them if they would like a beer....so i see a mexican walking by and i point it out to him...dumb mistake number three....he jets outside stands on the fence and yells "HEY VATO!" OHHHH HOLY HELL! OHHHHHHHH MY GOD!!!!!!! NO HE DIDNT!!!!!!! (yes he did)...guy turns around and drunk heath says whats up wanna beer....of course the man said yes and heath invited him in....at least hes a friendly drunk!!! HA HA!

Oh the madness didnt end there...the guy randomly asks HEATH if he wants a papyasain (i think thats how you spell it...aka..bucket chair)....and oh my god....heath replies....NO MAN I ONLY DRINK....me and melanie look at each other and could not stop laughing... he said it with the most serious tone and face...im laughing just writing this...so the guy goes...uhhhh im talking about a chair dude....OH fuck that made me laugh so hard...heaths never going to live down that line....

Im going to someday publish a book called "the funny things people say when they are drunk", i bet itll be a bestseller...cuz everyone knows theres always funny shit being said when there are drunks in the room!

Anyways...so we left not too long ago...we only stayed a while...and we decided i have work tomorrow at eight, and so does she...so we didnt end up going to the club...

Melanie is looking for apartments for us to move into....she wants to get the fuck outta her house as fast as possible...shit...i dont blame her...its a zoo over there!...thats including her weirdass step father too!....

Wearing: Khaki capris and aqua v-neck
Weather: Dark windy and cold
Hearing: Jadakiss- why?
Mood: good mood laughed alot tonight...

9:54 PM . by lynda